Thursday, January 14, 2010

Snowboarding trips

Deep in the woods of Maine

So to start things off last week I got back from a snowboarding trip that lasted a couple of days. I went to a resort way up in Maine, over a 5 hour ride from my house to get there, driving through quite the weekend storm. Upon arrival I walk in to see a few of my friends and some of the other people that rented the house watching TV and just kind of relaxing.

So I say my hello’s and get through introductions and then proceed to get the rest of the stuff out of my car. Unpacked and ready to join in on the vacation partying I proceed to grab a beer for my girl, a friend, and myself. To my surprise we are only a drink or two behind almost everyone else. Let the fun begin. We start playing a few drinking games, not enough cups to get any beerpong or Beirut going so we play one of the best drinking game out there, Baseball. If you’re familiar with it involves two great games and lots of drinking. It combines flip cup and beerpong. Being way up in Maine and having people gathered from all over New England me and one of the other kids had to explain the rules to everyone and come to an agreed middle grounds on a few due to slight differences. We play a few drinking games and get down a few drinks in about an hour. Then one of the girls that rented the house we are all staying at brings up dinner.

This makes everyone realize we are all starving and no one had really eaten much of anything since lunch time. Now we start weighing our options. Pizza a staple for snowboarding trips but it had been lunch and dinner for the two days previous to our arrival. We could go to the mountain and see what they had for food but no one was really feeling the après ski bar or the crappy food served at them. Finally one of the other girls chimes in about the restaurant across the street from the street our condo was on. She said she and her friend had eaten there the other night and the food was really good. Then she goes on to tell us that they do $5 entrée’s on Friday night which it was. She then proceeds to tell us that at 9 O’clock on Friday nights they have strippers. Jackpot.

Now with all of these facts laid out in front of us we weigh our options and with the girl to guy ratio being 2 heavier on the guy side and because a couple of the girls said they were down to go to this “woods of Maine” strip club, the decision is almost unanimous. Maine Strip club it is. It’s 7:30 so we have time to get ready to go out, eat some $5 dinner’s, then enjoy the ummm entertainment. The reason for the ummmm, you might ask, we are in far northern Maine. So the food was great especially for $5. And then came the woods of Maine strippers.

We were all thinking the same thing as almost everyone else would. We weren’t expecting anything great and more or less just going for the addition of naked girls, hopefully attractive, to the cheap dinners and some beer. Promptly at 9pm a parade of topless girls, wearing very little to cover there lower region, come waltzing around the bar and pick off more then half our crew and bring them up for the opening act. How wrong we were for expecting the C or D squad from a city bar. All the girls were very attractive. Only area they were lacking was in the boob area, none of them had big boobs , this is something my girl had to point out to me while she kept me cornered and away from the strippers looking to get people out on the floor for lap dances and more. To start off their show they each grab someone and bring them to chairs set around the main stage and do a rotating lap dance so everyone got a dance from each girl and only had to tip. From there the night only continued to get better then expected. These girls were very aggressive, forceful, and flexible. Much better then I expected a night out in the northern woods of Maine would end up being. After a very eventful first night as long as I made it to the mountain the next day, I was going to have a great trip.

Well woke up at 8am, wicked hangover, did a little cleaning and tried to get some of my friends and the others to get up and head to the mountain for some riding. No luck so me and my girl, oh yea she was still there, head to the mountain through the weekend long snow storm, and the conditions were great. Had a few good runs, stopped for lunch, and headed back out to the slopes. One of the first runs after lunch the chairlift broke down right before we got on, kind of sucked but at least we weren’t stuck on it. Continued to ride until the lifts closed and then headed back to the house.

Get there to find everyone is still in the exact same spot they were when my girl and I left. I guess they smoked a little, drank a little, ate some breakfast sandwiches, and watched movies the whole day. My girl and I grabbed a few beers sat down and started talking to everyone and going over everyone’s drunk recap of the night before. A lot of good stories were shared and we had a lot of good laughs. Now everyone is starting to get riled up and ready to go out and see if we can have a night that topples the night before. Everyone showered up and got ready again and we head out to the Bar at the base lodge.

Driving through near whiteout conditions we decide we need to grab some more beers for after the bar and decide it would be a great idea to try to keep two people sober so we can make it the 5 miles hope to the condo. Unluckily I am selected as one of the more responsible people there and better at driving in the snow. So I accept my fate for the night out and order nothing but black coffee and soda’s the whole night I’m not spending any money at the bar to get a red bull. The bartenders were cool and didn’t charge me for anything including the two rounds I got for my friends who were all getting shmatterfaced (an extreme level of drunk above shitfaced and hammered). This is when I notice a friend of a friend hitting on the most god awful girls in the whole bar and passing out at the same time. I think to try to stop this but don’t care enough about the kid to act and do anything to help him. Bad decision on my part. I guess this kid had pissed everyone off the whole time before I got there continued to do so while I was there. Tonight was no exception. He gets to that level were most friends would step in and help out and get their buddy out of there but no one does this or cares to at this point. He creeps out 4 out of the 5 worst looking girls in the bar, after telling everyone I’m with that he’s "gonna pull a threesome", proceeds onto the dance floor with lucky #5 and falls over. Now the other sober driver flips to pissed off and ready to go to sleep mode. She tells everyone to close their tabs and that we’re leaving.

After 15 minutes of getting the entire drunker crowd gathered and ready to go we drag “the problem” towards the door. We make it half way to the parking lot and he pulls a Houdini and makes it all the way back to the door of the bar where the bouncer will not let him in. Everyone that’s not sober decides he’s a lost cause and heads to the cars. I get dragged back to the bar and have to drag “the problem” out to the cars. Half way there he convinces me to let him stumble the rest of the way. After a few steps he try’s to turn and make a run back to the bar. He made it about 3.5 before almost smashing his head open falling into a brick column. He tells me "if you try to drag me any further I'm gonna hit you". Before I can finish telling him that would be a mistake, the sober girl that goes to med school with him (that’s right this kid might be a doctor some day) dives on him wailing wildly at his face, and following it with her purse full of 20+ pounds of stuff, for about 3-5 minutes. She gets off him, he whimpers that he’s cold and has a broken nose, ½ true. I drag him to his feet and pull him to her car and throw him in and say he’s not my problem anymore. I then drive a jeep through the worst conditions I have driven through at no more then 10 mph, its 5 miles back to the condo, so yea it took about 30 minutes. Get there do some cleaning and head to bed. Thank god I didn’t have to hear “the problem” the rest of the night.
Wake up at seven, load up the car, get everyone up and ready to head out. Other then telling “the problem” he had to get up and pack no one talked to him. Head to the mountain through light flurries, and get there for 15 to 20 inches of powder and the most fantastic conditions I have seen on the east coast in multiple years. There was so much powder I was even trying flips by the end of the day, and almost landed one.

So all in all I had a blast and for the first snowboarding trip of the season. Having all this excitement I can’t wait to see what the rest of the season holds and the fun stories that will be sure to follow. It was definitely worth the 10+ hours of driving and I can’t wait to head north again.